Getting Ready for a New School Year Again-The Power of Parent Involvement!

As the school year, 2017-2018 kicks in, let us embrace the power of parent involvement in their child’s education and beyond! Parent’s role as a teacher shouldn’t stop when your child enters school! Parent play an important role in your child’s education. You have heard many times that, “It takes a village to raise a Child”, while the statement is very true in many societies, it is also undeniably true when it comes to supporting your child’s education, it takes a parent’s involvement in your child’s education to effectively facilitate his or her learning.

When I think about my involvement in my children’s education, I look at it from many angles, and at different levels: from home to school! We know learning starts from home, from the time you have that child you have been teaching him or her how to hold his/her milk bottle, how to talk, walk, and read. Continue to inspire a lifelong love of learning by using everyday opportunities available to teach your child. Your child needs your guidance.

How do I Help my Children get Ready for School Every Day?

Getting the children ready for school every day is the biggest challenge for many parents. However, it doesn’t have to always be challenging! Here are some home checklists for parent’s involvement in your child’s education and development that will help and make it easy to get him or her ready for school and learning every day:

Be a Loving Parents and Show a Love for Learning:

Loving parents love their child unconditionally. Responding to your child’s needs and interests is the greatest way of showing him/her that you not only say I love you but also l care for your needs and interests, from home to school; from educational needs to personal interests. Loving and caring for your child not only makes him/her feel safe and comfortable, it helps build positive relationships, it helps to regulate social-emotional needs; but also, it helps your child build self-esteem which is a must have a trait to succeed in school and beyond.

Jean-Paul Richter, a German writer once said, “The conscience of children is formed by the influences that surround them; their notions of good and evil are a result of the moral atmosphere they breathe”.

When a child sees that you care for him/her, he or she is more likely to cooperate in many ways. Showing interest in your child’s education in particular, and in his or her life, in general, brings you closer and more likely to experience mutual understanding of one another.  Maintain close communication by talking to your child often about what is happening at school, encourage and support school work and ensure that your child finishes assignments and turn them over on time as well as remaking the assignment when he/she gets poor grades; get involved in school life by visiting your child’s school regularly-attend parents’ nights, school plays, etc. In addition, set high expectations for your child by encouraging him or her to do his or her best and work collaboratively with your child’s teacher and talk to them about goals and expectations for your child. Every parent has expectations from their children! In doing so, it will give your child opportunities to share what is in his or her mind freely. 

In addition, parent can show a love for learning by letting your child see you reading or writing often; let your child read your writing (if you write more often) or let your child read a book to you and vice versa; engage him/her by asking questions about school, subjects, teachers and their friends; chances are he or she will follow your lead.

Meet Your Child’s Physical Needs:

Make sure your child’s basic necessary needs are met. Physiological needs, such as food and shelter, followed by needs related to safety. As a parent, you are your child’s advocate for healthy living and good personal care and hygiene. Prepare nutritional meals daily and teach healthy eating and healthy living habits; ensure your child dresses up appropriately and presentable.  

According to Maslow’s motivational theory in physiology which comprised of five tier models of human needs stated that, “People are motivated to achieve certain needs and that some needs take precedence over others. Our most basic need is for physical survival, and this will be the first thing that motivates our behavior. Once that level is fulfilled the next level up is what motivates us, and so on…every person is capable and has the desire to move up the hierarchy toward a level of self-actualization. Unfortunately, progress is often disrupted by a failure to meet lower level needs. Life experiences including divorce and loss of a job may cause an individual to fluctuate between levels of the hierarchy”. 

Therefore, as a parent strive to  ensure that  your child’s needs are met first, then  make learning a family experience by establishing a home structured environment and routines that allows your child to learn more and stimulate creativity, experimenting and discovering things together from cooking, painting, gardening, or make up a story and act it out, whatever fun activities you can find and do together at home are an open opportunity for learning and bonding; as well as prepare him or her for the next level.

Teach Self-discipline:

Harry Emerson Fosdick once said, “No life ever grows until it is focused, dedicated, disciplined”.

Self-discipline according to the definition in the Cambridge English Dictionary is, “the ability to make yourself do things when you should, even if you do not want to do them”.

So, if you lack self-discipline you may be unable to start many things that you ought to accomplish or finish! The ability to have control over things you can do and the motivation to do them is self-discipline. 

As individuals, we must build up self-discipline to set clear goals and directions we want to go. For example, for a student, your goal is to go to school and learn to the best of your ability. Self-discipline for a student is the willpower to perform well in school it includes paying attention when classes are in session, maintain good attendance, avoid temptations for bad behaviors-alcohol, drugs, sexual activities while still in school; limit TV viewing and video games; give yourself extra study time in school and at home, etc. 

All these things are possible and are controlled by your thoughts and how you manage your thoughts. If you don’t control your thoughts, you cannot control what to do, for you will have conflicting thoughts, hence unable to know what to do and how to do it! You cannot achieve success in school or life if you don’t pay attention to your thoughts and behaviors in relation to taking responsibility for your daily learning.  As a parent, you can encourage and support your child to learn effectively, however, you cannot force him or her; it’s his or her responsibility to take charge of his or her learning by developing habits that encourage learning and love of learning.

Mahatma Gandhi, once said, “Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your destiny”.

Therefore, encourage yourself every day to do the best you can at school and at home, and make it a habit. Your actions or inactions will define you and set you for either success or failure. Studies indicate that people who develop a higher degree of self-discipline master their lives better and are happier, because they don’t spend time procrastinating what to do, they are stable and consistency in what they do.

“In essence, if we want to direct our lives, we must take control of our consistent actions. It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently”. Tony Robbins

Build Self-Confidence and Independence:

Self-confidence and independence are crucial traits to have to feel comfortable in life whether you are in school or at home.  Self-confidence is the ability to feel comfortable with yourself and the world around you. It's the ability to be certain about your competencies and skills. Self-confidence includes a sense of self-esteem and self-assurance, in addition, a belief that you are capable. 

When it comes to learning, every child is different in the way they learn and acquire knowledge. Knowing your child’s unique talents, skills, abilities, special needs, and interests will help you support your child best to acquire the self-confidence he or she needs to master his or her learning and beyond. Your child will enjoy learning and develop a healthy learning curiosity and builds creativity from the opportunities you bestow to them, but be sure to leave a room for independent learning. Self-initiation efforts are also crucial in managing daily routines. So make sure that your child doesn’t become too dependent on you even in the areas that need self-initiatives.  You must encourage your child to figure things out while supporting their efforts.

Let Your Child Play to Learn:

Play matters! Children play to learn, so give your child enough time to play and relax. A play is a major activity through which young children learn. Appreciate play can provide a lot of teaching, learning, and skills development. I believe that children play to learn! 

A play is the reflection of the child’s growth, the essence of the child’s life. A window into the child’s world. Through play, children acquire the foundations of logic thinking, reading, and writing. Furthermore, a play is a self-satisfying activity through which children gain control and come to understand life-understand who they are, what they are capable of, and how to better themselves in the play area. 

Furthermore, play teaches children about themselves, they learn the discipline of the games they play and the perseverance to endure, and how to win or lose a play. Children learn best through play! Before the children can understand the concept of soft and hard they need to experience soft and hard activities such as play dough or building with blocks. Before children can hold a pencil to write a letter on the paper, they need to have developed and control their small motor skills and muscles through cutting, pasting, pouring, painting and drawing.

There are many advantages of play as it serves important functions in children’s physical, emotional, and social development. Children express and present their ideas, thoughts, and feelings when engaged in symbolic play. During play, a child learns how to deal with emotions, how to interact with others, how to resolve conflicts, and how to gain a sense of competence and accomplishment-all in the safety that only play affords them.

As George Dorsey put it, “Play is the beginning of knowledge”.

And Charles Schaefer said, “We are never more fully, more completely ourselves, or more deeply engrossed in anything than when we are paying”.

Parents and teachers have a role of providing an environment that supports child-initiated learning including play.

Constructivist theorists/researchers, for example, Jean Piaget and Lev Vygotsky pioneered work in early education and child development. Their views on how children learn, and when they are more likely to learn specific concepts and skills are the most popular guides in early education and development. 

According to Jean Piaget, the development of logical thought and socio-moral knowledge and behavior can be well learned through dramatic play. On the other hand, Lev Vygotsky focused on the social aspects of the child learning through the role of adults and older children in supporting cognitive, self-regulation, and language development. Thus, adults’ role in conversation and storybook sharing supports the child’s language development. Therefore, appropriate play can provide a lot of teaching, learning, and skills development.

Have Fun Learning:

Life isn’t always serious, don’t take learning too serious that you lose the fun of learning! While it feels good to manage your daily learning, it funnier to enjoy the learning process itself for the love of learning to occur! While all parent wishes to be honored as the parents of highly academic performing students, success in school and in life is more than academic performance! Imagine if all students can perform at the same level of straight A’s, we wouldn’t have all these other various talents, skills, and creativities that we see around. As long as your child is learning and developing towards the right direction, that all matters.

Robert John Meehan, said, “Every child has a different learning style and pace. Each child is unique, not only capable of learning but also capable of succeeding”.

Parents and teachers are there to encourage and support their children’s learning. We must not force children to learn or perform above and beyond their ability, rather help them to unlock their full potential.

“Do not train children to learn by force and harshness, but direct them to it by what amuses their minds, so that you may be better able to discover with accuracy the peculiar bent of the genius of each”, said Plato.

How to Communicate Without Alienating!

So, let’s face it, effective communication is a language skill that can have a serious impact both positive and negative if not well orchestrated! To some, effective communication may come naturally and even earn them a charismatic role recognition. To others, it is a hard and a problematic reality that can alienate them from other people.

In our social lives, we encounter setbacks and challenges because of ineffective and poor communication, from a personal level to a professional level. At a professional level, for example, business deals break, employees, quit jobs either due to their own or their manager’s lacking effective communication; even the president of the free world, if he cannot communicate effectively to his people, his leadership will suffer setbacks and cause tremendous chaos to say the least! On the other hand, at the personal level, many relationships and marriages break, in most cases due to poor communication, unwillingness to engage one another-friends, family members not talking to one another, and not trusting one another. We must learn and embrace the importance of talking with one another rather than talking at one another! It is important that we develop communication trusts not communication barriers.

So, how Could You Communicate Effectively without Alienating Yourself or Others?

 

Understanding and Connecting with One another:

One of the important life skills that enable us to better understand and connect with one another is effective communication. Without effective communication, we cannot experience open and honest communication which allows us to build trust, respect, resolve differences; and foster an environment where problem-solving, caring, affection and creative ideas come together and thrive.

“Trust is the glue of life. It is the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships… Seek first to understand, then to be understood”, said Stephen Covey.

Lack of effective communication can lead to unintended conflicts, crisis, and or consequences in both professional and personal relationships. The remedy to such problems is to be aware of how we relate and interact with one another.

Recognize Communication is a Two-way-Process:

Communication is a two-way-process of giving and receiving information and reaching a mutual understanding. If we don’t communicate with the mutual intention to understand first then agree or agree to disagree, we won’t get far. It will either be my way or the high way, and neither my way nor the high way will benefit any in the final analysis. Most people struggle with lack of openness, understanding, and trust especially after experiencing mistrust! The vulnerability and crisis caused by ineffective communication or lack of communication are enormous and troublesome! When we fail to communicate effectively things go wrong, people suffer, lose hope and the best out of one another. Sometimes, individual face and live in isolation and loneliness lives because of lack of communication skills or ineffective communication. Even at the national level, countries are alienated, sanctions are imposed on them partly because of lack of effective communication or refusal to communicate, as a result people suffer tremendously. There has never been one person who knows each and everything!

“Knowledge is knowing what to say. Wisdom is knowing when to say it”.

Be an Active Listener:

Yes, listening is crucial in communicating effectively! Imagine what happens when we all talk at the same time! We not only missed what is being said but also it is damaging to the relationship! When we don’t listen to one another we seize not to pay attention to what is being said, we missed the important things said! The way we are created is not by accident, but it is intentional, that we have one mouth to talk less and two ears to listen twice as much as we talk. The biggest communication problems we experience is that we do not listen with the intention to understand, rather we listen with the intention to reply!

Plato once said, “Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools speak because they must say something”.

As people, we must be concern about forming strong and good relationships, and avoid judging one another, which in fact will make us happier and healthier in many ways; only if we take the time to listen to one another a little longer and eliminate unnecessary grouches!

John Gray, an American relationship counselor and author of the famous book about relationships, Man are from Mars, Women are from Venus talked a lot about building good and strong relationships with each other by learning how to communicate effectively with each other; for example, he asserted that,

“When a man can listen to a woman’s feelings without getting angry and frustrated, he gives her a wonderful gift. He makes it safe for her to express herself. The more she is able to express herself, the more she feels heard and understood, and the more she is able to give a man the loving trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, and encouragement he needs”.

This can be true and applicable in all areas of relationships and interactions whether at home, work, school, or in the community! Learning to listen to one another without bias, judging, belittling, and all the negativities that discourage people is part of effective communication. You cannot bring yourself up by putting others down! When people are valued, respected, and appreciated you earn their trust and their support; they become motivated and interested to engage with one another.

When we stand up for honest conversation, when we listen tentatively, when we give honest responses to one another, it is not only a civil and a respectful way of interacting but also an effective way of communicating with one another that yield positive results-magic things happens, we can agree with one another more, we understand one another better, we build trust and achieve our mutual goal of interacting well and communicating effectively.

Anthony Robbins, an American author and life coach, argued that “The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives”.

When we are not in agreement with one another, it affects our socioeconomic, and emotional well-being, hence it affects the quality of our lives! Also, more often we blame others when things go wrong when communication breakdown! We tend to look beyond ourselves for things to happen the way we want instead of looking at our own conducts, and how we influence others to react or not react! Be honest with yourself and to others so that you can create the openness and the trust that is much need amongst ourselves.

Choose Your Words Wisely:

They say, the tongue can speak words that bring peace or chaos, life or death, and let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but rather words that are good for building up as need, so that it may give grace to those who hear them! When words are expressed effectively, it makes language clear and interesting. To have an idea is a simple thing, to have an ability to express and articulate your ideas effectively is a complex task that we must learn to master to deliver messages to others effectively, whether you are a messenger or a manager! Understanding one another and managing one another require sets of skills, and more so if you are a leader.

People communicate differently and with different level of control, conciseness, and in our own unique ways. When you express yourself effectively, it is because you can make your thoughts known well through words choices. I cannot say how many times I have failed to express my thoughts well as I have wanted. And when you fail to express yourself well or effectively it may often result into being misunderstood by others, people may misjudge you, label you or name-calling you, such as-arrogant, bossy, ignorant, racist, boring person to be around with, etc.  In contrary, of course, you will be characterized as charismatic, intelligent, smart, charming, interesting person to be around with, etc.

So, words choice matters a lot when interacting and communicating with others in all levels-young and old, leaders and their people, managers, and their workers! The expression that, “think first before you speak, or be sure to taste your words before you spit them out”, speaks volume when it comes to effective communication.

Be a Great Communicator:

A great communicator is a good leader and or a good messenger! Therefore, the art of effective communication requires a high standard of discipline in choosing your words wisely, smartly and controlling your ideas, and how you express your ideas to people you want to inform, persuade, or agree with! Being a good communicator is a must trait to have to be a good leader or a good messenger. It is a foundational management quality and if you lack it, you will always be a trout swimming upstream; because managing others, agreeing with others, and reaching mutual understanding will always be a struggle and unachievable task especially if you are leading people.

Part of being a great communicator is to assume responsibility for your mistakes or weaknesses for there is no one who is immune to mistakes and or without weaknesses! And then, learn that open and honest communication is the foundation for all good relationships and good leadership! A person cannot control the environment but only his or her reaction to it. Be wise, smart, and choose your battle, and fight the good fight; the fight that unites not alienate!

Remember, “Loneliness does not come from being alone, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to you”. Carl Jung, a Swiss psychiatric and psychoanalyst.

Taking different opinions, different views, opposing views without alienating other people’s views is an art of effective communication. As a leader or an individual person, you must allow other people’s perspectives, otherwise, you will stand alone and communication will stop.

So, learning to communicate effectively without alienating yourself or others is crucial in all areas of life. If you avoid open and honest communication, (e.g. keeping your people, your friends, your family in dark, not informing people what make sense, not communicating sensibly;  manipulating or  causing fear, doubts, and mistrust; wanting people to be loyal to you or to say and do what you want them to say and do; to be unreliable and unpredictable in the way you communicate with others; and /or failure to build good relationship with people you surround yourself with, leads to bad relationships and alienation).

Remember, effective communication is a glue that binds the people together. Effective communication helps you to solidify and increase your connections to others; it helps to improve teamwork, decision making and problem-solving. When you can communicate effectively it enables you to communicate even difficult, opposing, and or negative messages without creating conflict or destroying trust and relationships.

Realizing these truths about effective, open, and honest communication, therefore, will help you avoid and overcome many challenges in life.