What Courage Can do to Your State of Well-being!

Courage is perhaps the most used word when one intends to lift someone’s spirit; get someone out of these emotions such as despair, fear, anger, frustrations, and all the other negative traits! But what this seven letters word, C-O-U-R-A-G-E really mean? How do you seek it, find it, and keep it?

So, what is courage? The meaning of courage is best defined by the Cambridge English Dictionary as “the ability to control your fear in a dangerous or difficult situation…and is synonymous with brave…courage is to be brave and confident enough to do what you believe in”.

To some, courage comes naturally without putting much effort, to others it takes some time to gather the courage to act upon something!

Certainly, life isn’t designed to be free of challenges or without ups and downs, otherwise, it would have been too monotonous and therefore too boring, too exciting, and or too crazy!

Terry Fallis in his book, The High Road, wrote, “A life without challenge, a life without hardship, a life without purpose, seems pale and pointless. With challenges come perseverance and gumption. With hardship come resilience and resolve. With purpose come strength and understanding”.

Looking back on my life struggles and challenges, and there are many of them-whether drawn from my twenties when I was learning and searching for the world away from the world I grew up and eventually  got it and find myself in America; or in my thirties when I got into the parenthood club and real life started getting where it belongs; and then, I entered into my forties thinking I have seeing it all, I have done it all, I have been everywhere and gone nowhere; and no man, nobody, and nothing that would have moved my feet or give me a shiver when I put my thinking cap on and into it-I was courageous, I was brave! And I was determined!

 And now, what happened with the time? I’m here really! In my fifties wondering where the time went and where my life had been? Am I living backward instead of forward, otherwise who is in control of my life? 

As I analyze life challenges, hardships, or trials and how to overcome them or to try to make sense of it, I am reminded that life is really what you make of it!

You must choose not only how you desire to live your life and therefore how to navigate through it by all possible means you can bestow, but that doesn’t make it easy or guarantee safe landing-that everything is going to be alright!

From my experiences, what makes life challenges more challenging isn’t lack of courage per se to face the challenges but rather the forces that accompany you and the challenges you are facing. Those external factors that you have no control of. And the worse of all, they come from fellow human beings…man destroy lives…the biggest enemy of man is a man!!!

However, I will not fear man for he is not my creator!  I will always choose courage to get me through, to overcome my life challenges as possibly can. That is right! You heard it right! But, easy saying than doing, nevertheless, for the sake of my psychological well-being I will always choose courage in place of fear!

The fear only remains or resurface when everyone becomes an expert on how you should or should not live your life, how you should or should not handle and tackle your own challenges. Thus, people’s intentions (good and bad) may add more pressure to you -some may scare you more, and some will confuse you greatly, yet others will doubt and criticize you for not acting on their suggestions or pieces of advice, and on timely manner (as they may detect time too!) …so much so that they sometimes forget that it’s still your life, not theirs, and they know nothing about it so far! We all need time to reflect, to digest all that has been thrown on our lives before we could move and or act.

The most famous and revered former South Africa first black president Nelson Mandela, who also became one of the remarkable heroes of the 20^thcentury after fought for his country’s freedom from apartheid regime and endured 27 years of brutal imprisonment yet negotiated and lead his country to a peaceful end of institutionalized racism and truth reconciliation, said these words about courage, “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers the fear”.

As you can see, courage does not eliminate fear but it inspires you to be aware and or raise your consciousness to help yourself make decisions and then take actions.

As always, every one of us has certain ways of reacting and responding to our own life challenges and hardships-some are quick to react and others are slow, some are too cautious and yet others are risk takers and daredevils.

In all accounts, the key to ease and manage life challenges and hardships is first to accept them as they come and realize you are not alone because you don’t own all the problems in the world; and to remember that those who have failed greatly, have come to achieve great success. Why? Because they were willing to take that leap of courage and believed on their abilities, talents, creativities, and their dreams.

Rather than just seeing your failures as an obstacle that could define you, you should make a choice to fight back, to trust what you were left with-your knowledge, your talents, and your creativity to keep you going, to help you turn things around.

Taking a leap of courage begins with believing in yourself, and believing that there still goodness in the world that comes in  different forms and levels -there are ways out there, and there are someone good people out there that will guide honestly and help you sincerely to navigate your world, to make your dreams come true; to find optimal, logic, solutions to your daily challenges you might be facing; to make choices, changes, and continue fighting a good fight.

Roger Crawford asserted that “Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional”.

 And, “It always seems impossible until it is done”, Nelson Mandela.

Growing up in Kilimanjaro region in Tanzania, I am always reminded of the stories my grandfathers used to tell me, the Chagga folklore which still sleeping in my memories.

I am a Chagga by ethnicity. So, the WaChagga (plural) are the ethnic people of Kilimanjaro where the tallest, free-standing and a permanent snow-capped mountain in the world (5,895 m –19, 341 ft) is found.

Mt. Kilimanjaro facts are as fascinating and mysterious as its name and will share just a few facts-it’s one of the world’s most iconic peaks: Kibo, Mawenzi, and Shira-Kibo being the highest peak.

There so many Chagga stories about Mt. Kilimanjaro and its three peaks, however, today I will only relate courage with one fact about the Mt. Kilimanjaro-its name and the determination to climb it. This is where I first started learning about courage and the art of building courage.

I learned from early years of age not to give up easily, and so you won’t be surprised to learn that I have climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro twice, which defied my grandfather’s and the

WaChagga legends center on what they believed then as their ‘Ruwa’ and their Mt. Kilimanjaro as their highest power and assistance.

WaChagas believed on ‘Ruwa’ as a liberator and provider of sustenance; and so, as their Mountain which provides rich volcanic soils that support agricultural crops such as coffee, banana, maize, beans, and varieties of fruits, and the biggest of all, tourism revenues. So, from time immemorial the Mountain represents a powerful life source for the WaChagga who lives in the foothills of the Mountain.

Since WaChagga traditionally lives on the foot-slopes of Mt. Kilimanjaro I wanted to climb it, to reach the top! The stories then were that anyone who attempted to conquer Mt. Kilimanjaro will die because the god of the mountain will get angry! So, why one would take a risk to make the god of the mountain angry and in turn to die when you can see the mountain from the window of your bedroom? Back then, it was a taboo drawn from the meaning of its name, ‘difficult to conquer’, that no one should attempt to climb it!

WaChagga contended that Mt. Kilimanjaro’s name means, ‘difficulty to conquer’. It must be that those attempted to go to the top of the mountain then and never came back could be that they didn’t have all the gears and clothes that are necessary today to protect themselves as they ascend the Mountain and neither did they knew about high-altitude sicknesses nor the physical fitness to be aware of when you plan to climb the Mountain.

Anyway, fast-track the story, undeterred by my grandfather’s stories about Mt. Kilimanjaro, I attempted to climb the mountain anyway, and surely, I failed to reach the top! It was my first time ever to have experienced such physical toucher-the hours of hiking and climbing the Kilimanjaro terrain passing through almost every kind of ecological system and vegetational zones to trek to the top was not only tiring but unbearable physical pain at times.

I remember crying and being left behind so many times-hiked from cultivated zone at the foothills of Mt. Kilimanjaro where banana and coffee plantations are found, then turned into rainforest zone, with the  evergreen tangled tree branches roots waiting for you to greet them as you struggle to hold onto the branches, stem/trunk to find where your next footstep will land; then the  heather and Moorland zone as the land opens into this vast land with countless species of plants that covered the horizon as I could with my eyes-there were plenty of wildflowers that were attractive-the colors, the texture, even their unique scents, which helped to ease the tiredness and pain I was enduring, at least for a short while; and then, we trekked into the  alpine desert zone-here the wind intensified and the land gets rocky and there is sandy too so looking where you were coming from and where you were heading as the winds accompanied you was a challenge by itself; and finally an Arctic summit, an experience of real cold, deep into low winter temperatures. So, from rainy, hot, windy, sandy,  and to a serious cold, you will experience it all. 

 They say climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro is like traveling from the tropical equator to the north pole, just like life itself-a path of adventure, with mountains to conquer, caves to explore, secrets to keep, and a lifetime of experiences that only you, you can discover it as you live it through!

Due to physical exhaustion and the high-altitude sickness I could not climb to the top instead, I was descended immediately to serve my life and therefore my attempt to conquer Mt. Kilimanjaro failed. Though the stories from my grandfather still lingered in my mind and wondered whether there was any truth to their beliefs about the Mt. Kilimanjaro, I still wanted to show and prove to them that it can be conquered. That the 'Ruwa' of the mountain had never gotten angry at them. Maybe people have gotten angry at the mountain they were so scared to conquer, as it will swallow them if they attempt!

And so, I set myself for a second attempt the following year, and this time, sure enough, I nailed it! I reached the summit of Africa! I reached the Uhuru peak (the Freedom Peak), the highest summit on Kibo’s crater rim! Nearly every climber who has summited Uhuru peak has recorded his or name and or thoughts about the accomplishment in a book stored in a wooden box at the top.

You see, the courage to try again even though it was not guaranteed that I would have made it the second time taught me a lesson about persistence, perseverance, and determination!

When you want to set yourself for something, sometimes just gather the courage and go for it. Don’t think about what might be going wrong, rather think about what could go right.

After all, you would have never known if you would have made it or not if you won’t try, and try, and try again!

They say, “…and until you spread your wings, you will have no idea how far you can fly”.

Thus, if I had my mindset fixed that I could not reach the Mountain top, I could not have made my second attempt. But because I made a choice-tuned my mind that I am going to try again to conquer it and fight my way up till I make it; I did it and made it to the summit.

So, what I learned from my experience of climbing the tallest, free-standing Mountain in the world twice is that challenging yourself whenever you are challenged build resilience, persistence, and determination-refuse the status quo...

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are”.

And perhaps as Viktor Frankly put it, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves”.

 So, keep looking forward as there always will be an option to move you to a right direction.

We all can, therefore, agree that taking a leap of courage can pave a way to a beautiful ending and beyond our beliefs.

 Thus, “Difficult roads often leads to beautiful destinations”.

Gather your courage and take it with you wherever you go, wherever it takes you, and act upon it as it deemed to be fit.

What Students Really Want From Teachers!

Robert John Meehan once said, “Each child has a different learning style and pace. Each child is unique, not only capable of learning but also capable of succeeding”.

Each child is a unique individual, with special intellectual, social, emotional and physical abilities as well as curiosity and creativity waiting to be bestowed.

Reflecting on my many years I have spent in the field of education particularly in early childhood education, I have come to appreciate the uniqueness, the differences and the experiences children bring into the classrooms-some have leveled the field of teaching, some challenged our existence, yet some have taught us many lessons that we could not teach them.

In all accounts, children are our teachers for we may not teach them enough as we may learn from them and a lot about ourselves! Nevertheless, when teachers express their love, their interests, and their involvement in each student’s development and meaningful learning, they make it possible for “all students” and the “whole student” to grow and learn.

And so, in talking to some students from various backgrounds-local, national, and international students, here are what students really want from their teachers!!!

1.Respect and Understanding

“The deepest hunger of the human heart is to be understood, for understanding implicitly affirms, validates, recognizes and appreciates the intrinsic worth of another”. ~ Stephen Covey

Apparently, respect and understanding are paramount of all! Many students feel that teachers don’t respect and understand them enough to value them-i.e. whether they exist in the classrooms, let alone their learning needs! 

One student said that he finished a grade level without being singled out to speak in one classroom, not even answered a question, as he never got picked when he raised his hand as others!

“Seek first to understand…then to be understood”.

Like teachers, students need to be respected. As we teach children to respect adults we owe children respect too, no matter how young the children may be! 

Teachers show respect to a student when he/she interact with a student in a positive manner that leads the student to enjoy being with the teacher and take interests in the teacher’s teachings.

Another concern that was revealed among many students is the yelling (get out of my classroom now…) and name calling (you are damn and lazy, you will never make it to college…). It's neither cool nor okay for teachers to lose their temper in the classroom!  

                                                                 

When a teacher yells at a student for any reason it can have a serious effect on student’s social-emotional development. Teachers will always remain the ones to create the emotional climate for learning.

It is the teacher’s role to save the face and preserve students’ dignity. Teachers should instead emphasize mutual respect and understanding, encourage teamwork, cooperation, independence and group harmony; and to assist students in developing self-discipline, sensitivity in their interactions with each other; and recognize that children come from all sizes, colors, shapes, and cultural backgrounds, and that no one-size fits all when it comes to teaching and learning.

2. Be Responsive and Accommodative

Even though their attitudes may be stronger than your intentions, try to be fair to all children-the weak, the meek, and the runny-nosed; don’t forget the bullies and the smart guys they too need sympathy and guidance!

Students want teachers to be fair in their practice-to respond and accommodate each student, to treat each student fairly, to judge them for who they are, and how they perceive you, yet teach them effectively!

Whether you chose teaching or teaching chose you, the number one requirement of the teachers is your strength to respond and accommodate all children’s needs. Don’t like and favor the five assertive children and dislike or ignore the fifteen passives, low self-esteem, and or lack of confidence students; accommodate them as well!

Students feel that teachers focus more and pay more attention to the smart and well-connected children. They are the ones who are given every opportunity, from answering questions in the classrooms, to, to be the first one to be picked or listed for every event in their classrooms and or in school in general!

Children thrive well in an environment that values them and their existence, respond to their needs and accommodate their interests in the process of learning.

3. Be Attentive and Active Listener

Before you judge think before you speak listen!

Students also complained that teachers are quick to blame and rush into conclusions before they know the real situation behind the student’s behavior. Either student feel that they are not given chance to tell their side of the story because the teacher already made up their mind about that student no matter the circumstances!

Some students get away with many misbehaviors while others are reprimanded all the times and on very minor misbehaviors because teachers seized not to be attentive and active listeners.

Some students received undivided attention from teachers and others don’t.

Some students have their voices heard, yet others are given deaf ears and blind eyes. A student may not speak in the classrooms but it is the teacher’s responsibility to talk to the student and to listen even to the unspoken voices from some student.

Many students asserted that they would like their teachers to talk to them, to ask them questions and not be disappointed with them when they fail to give the correct answers; ask them to share their comments, opinions, and suggestions…their participation and contribution in the classrooms matter! 

No stupid question is stupid enough to hurt someone, and anyone who asks a question is because they want to know! If a student did not answer the question it’s not because he is a dum-dum, sometimes he rather answers that question in private…one-on-one!

The best thing teachers can do to help children express themselves freely is to acknowledge and validate their presence and feelings.

A pupil feels validated when teachers care enough to listen. The simple act of active listening and showing that you care about their presence and feelings, help students develop self-esteem and confidence which are the important factors in the student’s mental and emotional well-being.

Validating a student’s presence and feelings help him/her get a sense of reality…He is upset and you are aware of it! You acknowledge it, “I see, and hear you! You want a turn or didn’t give a correct answer, we will work this through together, let’s try something else, etc.

When teacher offer unconditional support, in addition, reassurance, alternatives, and or more useful ways of looking at the situation, it can transform a negative feeling to a positive feeling; a nonresponsive student to a responsive student; from withdrawn student to an engaging student; and a struggling with learning student to a thriving in learning student.

4. Give and Teach True Freedom

Since children have different learning needs, interests, styles, and pace, helping them learn comfortably and without fear of their teachers’ responses or that of their peers is what students want! Freedom of learning according to individual student’s needs and abilities. That means individualized learning and individualized instructional delivery.

Individualized learning, or individualized instruction, is a method of teaching in which content, instructional technology, and pace of learning are based upon the abilities and interests of each learner.

More projects-based learning and student-initiated learning activities, where students focus on their own learning interests while they discover their talents and abilities, and allowing them to advance at their own pace.

Though it may seem that meeting the needs of individual student conflicts with meeting the needs of the group, it is the teachers’ obligation to provide both needs successfully whenever possible.

There can be no true freedom of learning if the learning process does not encompass the needs of the whole child.

5. Encourage and Motivate

“Tell me and I’ll forget. Show me and I may remember. Involve me and I learn”. ~ Benjamin Franklin

Students acknowledge that taking the ownership and oversee their learning is their number one requirement as learners. However, while most of the students may do schoolwork and homework without a lot of follow-ups, others need a lot of follow-ups!

Thus, while Josh is a go-getter and always active and excited about learning, Alex is a lay-back and passive learner who needs the motivation to beat his zone of proximal development.

Some students raised their hands all the time, and have something to say about in almost every subject, others don’t raise their hands and or say anything at all the times and in every subject- they don’t believe in themselves and or have fallen into not trusting their teachers! They need encouragement to find their way and motivation to unlock their learning potential.

Students want to hear that they can do it, teachers believe in them and the effort they are trying so hard to put into their learning is valued and acknowledged positively; help them to discover their purpose-nurture their curiosity, creativity and their unique abilities to learn they possess.

Encourage them to speak out and share their ideas, beliefs, and opinions even if they are not popular or correct, for you will never know what student know or don’t know unless you encourage them and give them chances and choices to participate in discussions. Give positive feedback, encourage student’s efforts and recognize his or her limitations too, and praise when the goals and expectations are met!  

It is teacher’s responsibility to not only appreciate the vulnerability of children and their dependence on their teachers in facilitating their learning, but also, they are defenseless…demonstrate caring and kindness while sharing responsibilities to ease the student’s anxiety, stress, and or strong emotions related to lack of encouragement and motivation in their learning process.

6. No One-Size Fits All: Recognize and Appreciate Diversity

We are not the same…We are different individuals with different needs and interests…Do not compare, nor force learning…Rather, engage, motivate, and teamwork…Together we can walk miles and pass milestones.

Teachers should diversify their teachings and strategized their instructional delivery and be culturally sensitive and responsive teacher who recognize the importance of including student’s cultural references in all aspects of learning.

In addition, to recognize that children are best understood and supported in the context of family, culture, community, and society.

What Parents Really Want From Teachers!

Everyone knows that a good parent and a good teacher gives a child a good foundation to discover the joy and the excitement of the world he/she lives in, they nurture and mold the young growing and curious minds-the minds that are longing to discover and conquer the world around them. How then could we fulfill our roles as adults, parents, and teachers to thrive to prepare our children to excel as young leaders of tomorrow?

Early years are crucial years for learning, and our children absorb more knowledge during their early years than any other time in their lives. Therefore, if we would build on a sure foundation in friendships, cooperation, mutual understanding, and respect, we must first appreciate our pupils for what they are, love them for their sake rather than for our own. Therefore, parents want teachers to:

Be a Role Model and a Leader

Set a good example-children copy what adults say and do! Model the behaviors you want to see from them-give feedback that helps children build more helpful behaviors and skills, learn comfortably, praise reasonably and express feeling naturally and positively; teach anger management, and give each child a fair shake and equal attention.

If you teach and or preach one thing and do the opposite you are not setting a good example! If you teach your students nonaggressive behavior, you should not be the one to use aggressive behavior as a discipline measure.

“Moral excellence comes as a result of habits; we become just by doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts”. ~ Aristotle

Morality, therefore, is viewed as the ethical behavior-the development of an understanding of right and wrong!

Teachers are role models and leaders from the eyes of the parent and that of your pupils. Part of teachers’ ethical and moral responsibility is to become a role model to your students, and moral reasoning is the cognitive aspect of morality that leads the person to make a moral judgment.

Therefore, respect my child, take interest in my child, and treat my child like an individual!

As you teach your pupils to respect you, you owe your pupils respect too!

According to Magda Gerber, a famous child therapist and infant specialist, respect for a child mean, “treat a child, no matter how young, like a fully human person rather than like an object”. 

No matter how young the children, they do know the difference between good and bad! Children express emotions (good and bad) in relation to how they are perceived and or treated by adult, teachers, and or parents.

“If you make children happy now, you will make them happy twenty years, hence by the memory of it”. ~ Kate Douglas Wiggin

Modeling appropriate behaviors in your daily practices and communicate honestly and with precise clarity to give my child a chance to correct his/her wrong doings. Use respectful language, tone, and appropriate body gestures with my child to instill/pass on to him/her the teachings and the lessons you desperately want him/her to learn and or master!

Periodically, check your intervention practices and strategies to ensure that they are professional and they are re-directing the behavior, they are teaching problem-solving skills, they offer appropriate choices, and that logical consequences are recognized and justified. Contrary to that, you will be inducing signs of stress, anxiety, strong emotions (anger, aggressive behaviors) as self-defense.

“Above all, we shall not harm children. We shall not participate in practices that are emotionally damaging, physically harmfully, disrespectful, degrading, dangerous, exploitative, or intimidating to children”. (NAEYC Code of Ethical Conduct and Statement of Commitment, 2005).

In addition, “We protect children when we refuse to use strategies that are degrading or harmful or have the potential to harm or humiliate children”. (Marion, Guidance of Young Children, 2007).

You are Our Hero

Teachers are our heroes, and your civic duty demands so too!

“Teachers are everyday heroes. They inspire hope, nature dreams, and encourage success. They seek out potential and find ways to develop it. They coach the talented, comfort the troubled, reward achievement, and promote good character…their actions and personalities are remembered with gratitude and appreciation years, even decades, after a student moves on-proving that what teachers share are truly lessons for a lifetime…a good teacher is the perfect balance of firmness and understanding of guidance and freedom, of mentor and friendship”.

Be that teacher whom your pupils will remember for the rest of their lives. Having been a pupil myself in different times in my life (as a young pupil during my early years in school and adult-student during my adult years in school), I have come to admire what teachers do every day to better the lives of their pupils, but also honor the memories they left in me, both good and bad!

My middle school teacher, Mr. Temba! Oh Mr. Temba, how I hated him, (as a teacher now, I hate to say that) but as a student then and even today as a parent that what I intend to call him-a hated teacher! Why? Mr. Temba contributed to my dislike of math subject and ultimately to my failure to the subject! His conduct towards certain students including myself during his math period did not support my learning math nor did it help to like his subject. He constantly insulted and humiliated me every day he entered the classroom-he used to call me to the front of class to answer some weird questions he may decide to pose to me or ask me to solve a math problem on the blackboard and whether I was able to answer his questions or solve the math problem in front of the class, he was sure to make an insulting remark-comment on how I looked that day, what I was wearing was this or that, and or just anything he could comment about me! His class to me was a toucher and a misery! He didn’t teach me with dignity and didn’t care about the fact that I was not making progress in math, and so, I struggled with math and became so bad with math that I couldn’t pass math, I failed the subject flatly and never liked mathematics again because of the experience I endured with this teacher’s conduct.

High school was my favorite years in school! My memories of my English Literature teacher are a delightful one! My English Literature teacher Mr. Mabala made me love English as a second language and was hilarious, inspirational, and contagious during the English Literature sessions-all of us in his class looked forward to his period! He not only made us laugh, he made us learn and love English Literature! The stories he told us, the books he read to us still sleeping in my memories-he taught with humor and dignity.

You see! Pupils will love the class and the subject because of how the teacher was able to teach and touch their learning instincts, how you engage your pupils as learners, believe in their unique ways of learning, their creativity and the knowledge you instill in them; then we will remember and talk about you even we grow old.

Teacher is the Environment and Environment is a Teacher

By saying teacher is the environment and environment is a teacher I mean that teachers are responsible to create a physical and emotional climate for learning and growth-to set-up both physical environment (Classroom management) and social-emotional environment, in this case, safe and healthy environment that facilitate your students’ growth and learning.

An appropriate physical design for the appropriate learning environment influence and encourage interaction and participation; it also fosters a positive social-emotional environment which means, it offers opportunities to address and respond to each child’s learning experiences and embraces different backgrounds students brings, including interests, experiences, cultures, languages and or learning styles.

During this year’s back-to-school day, my co-teacher decorated our classroom in a unique way that everyone thought it was too much, little we knew then that to some parents from different culture noticed the decoration and were delighted-it is reminding them what they are familiar with from where they come from and now in a foreign place and it made them happy and felt included. Surely it is the little things that make a big impact in the daily life of a child in school or home.

The social-emotional environment also includes the relationships and interactions between teachers and their pupils. The quality of respect, warmth, nurturance, acceptance, protection, responsiveness.

Many parents want teachers to take time to get to know my children-your pupils, and make effort to talk to my child, to work closely with my child for the benefit of my child rather than of your own or of your school; for you will find out that all students are longing for same things-treat them with warms and tenderness-warmth, nurturance, fairness, acceptance, protection, and responsiveness, of which all are qualities that help teachers establish safe and healthy relationships with their students.

We must not assume that all children are the same and have same learning needs and interests, and so teachers will respond to them uniformly and expect them to respond and react the same way to you.

When children have choices, they experience learning in different ways, eventually, they become the master of their own choices-the choices that in turn nurture participation, exploration, discovery, and talents.

Parents also want the teacher to be honest with my child-acknowledge both ability and inability to fully receive your teachings, but also find optimum and logical solutions to the challenges my child may pose to you.

More importantly, do not leave my child behind struggling himself/herself to understand you and what you are trying to teach him/her-strive to provide every child you serve an opportunity to build and develop a positive attitude and self-esteem towards learning which in turn validates not only their satisfaction but also yours.

One parent told me that she also wants teachers, “boost my children’s self-esteem and push them to strive, to help my children know that they can do anything they set their minds to achieve”.

Thus, teachers need, “to appreciate the vulnerability of children and their dependence on adults (as teachers) …to recognize and respect unique qualities, abilities, and potential of each child” …and therefore, “to support the right of each child to play and learn in an inclusive environment that meets the needs of children with and without disabilities”. (NAEYC Code of Ethics, 2005).

Be Honest and Clear When Communicating with Parent

Parents want teachers to always be honest and clear when communicating with them about matters concerning our children. No matter the circumstances teachers should always be honest and clear, after all, isn’t what you teach and want your pupils to-be-honest?

If a teacher cannot be honest, I will doubt her/his judgment and treatment over my child!

“We shall make every effort to communicate effectively with all families in a language that they understand”. (NAEYC- Ethical Responsibility to families, 2005).

This means that teachers should make sure that families are well informed and understand the school and the programs their children are involved with.

In addition, teachers give proper and honest feedback, for it matters! Thus, “share information about each child’s education and development with families and to help them understand and appreciate the current knowledge base of the early childhood profession”. And, as families share information with teachers about their children and families, teachers should consider this information to plan and implement the program that will encompass the needs of the whole child.

The success of teachers depends largely on how well and effective your communication, cooperation, and collaboration with parents of the children you teach, for it is a two-way work relationship and partnership in nurturing the children’s learning.

Parents, therefore, want teachers to analyze situations, make reasonable judgments, and resolve problems as they emerge and as quickly as can along with involving parents in the process of finding a solution and or fixing the problem quickly.

“To recognize that children and adults achieve their full potential in the context of relationships based on trust and respect”. ~(NAEYC)

Respect Diversity in Children and Families

One of being a good and an effective teacher is the ability “to recognize that children are best understood and supported in the context of family, culture, community, and society”. (NAEYC Core Values).

Never than before, our societies are increasingly becoming more diverse, and therefore, calls for teachers to have the knowledge and the skills to enable and master the teaching of young children who are diverse to enhance their socio-cultural and social-emotional interactions. When teaching young children, diversity must be embraced, accepted, respected, and responded to with dignity and respect so that teachers can address each child’s learning needs, interests, and or experience.

“To respect the dignity and preferences of each family and to make an effort to learn about its structure, culture, language, customs, and beliefs”. (NAEYC Code of Ethics, 2005)

Know Your Professional Role as a Teacher and Stay within the Boundaries of Your Role as a Teacher!

“To base program practices upon current knowledge and research in the field of early childhood education, child development, and related disciplines, as well as on particular knowledge of each child”.

Also, “to base activities, programs and academic curriculum on current knowledge of how children develop and learn”. (NAEYC Core Values).

Teachers are the star of the show, that their primary role is to provide developmentally appropriate learning environment-safety and meaningful learning to all children in accordance with the teaching practices developed by the education professional scholars/experts, and their best knowledge and skills they have gained throughout their professional development careers on how children learn and develop from different schools of thought to promote optimum learning for all children.

Parents want teachers to use their time they spend with our children wisely and professionally.

In average, American kids spend 943 to 1016 hours of instructional time in a school year-it’s an average of 180 days of school. That means our children are spending more learning time in Scholl than home and therefore, teachers have a more upper hand on how my child is doing in school.

Not only that parents are concerned about how their children are doing in school, whether they are learning and what they are learning, but also, they are concerned about teachers’ role and how some teachers use their role and their power as teachers to intervene when they encounter a problem with the student.

There is lack of honesty and transparency when a problem happens, there is an overreaction on what seems to be a minor misbehavior, and there are the punishments that do not fit or justify the action/behavior committed by the students!

Parents are concerned about the use of force in schools, and want teachers to involve parents quickly before the use of force on my child!

Children will always pose challenges to their teachers as they do to their parents, but teachers should act and respond as professionals who are educated and capable of using the knowledge and skills they have gained throughout their careers to find optimum solution that is within the boundary of acceptance especially when it is about disciplining the unwanted behaviors, specifically aggressive behaviors.

Some teachers have reacted aggressively to nonaggressive behavior incidents by students where they could use other positive discipline guidance strategies to problem-solving and conflict resolution; to de-escalate the situation and solve the problem instead of escalating the problem!

Parents want teachers to keep our children in class instead of issuing a punishment that takes them out of class during sessions! Each time you order a student out of the classroom during lesson time you take away their learning time, you deny him/her the opportunity to learn. That is not the best way to teach or discipline!

So, as a parent, I do not approve the disciplinary action of ordering student out of classrooms during sessions for minor misbehaviors, nor do I approve the use of force (Security Guard or Police on students)! It is harmful, it is humiliating, and it is degrading action because it has more negative impact on the student. Unless the student poses serious harm to others, teachers, or self. Aggressive force through Security Guard or Police should not be used on our children!

Teachers need to recognize their role and the powers they have over their students. Their actions can have an unimaginable impact on the child’s learning. Haim Ginott, a teacher, and a child psychotherapist described it as:

“I have come to a frightening conclusion. I am a decisive element in the classroom. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. As a teacher, I possess tremendous power to make a child’s life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated, a child humanized or de-humanized”.

Thank you for your time! Add Your Comments, Like it, and Sharing is Caring! Be sure to read the next one, What Student Really Want from Teachers!!!

What Teachers Really Want from Parents!

After Labor Day, all schools across the nation are back in sessions. All of us, the teachers, the parents, the children; and even the homeschooled friends were looking forward to getting back into the routines that the school year brings.

Certainly, the children were not only excited to get their new school supplies and meet their new schools and new teachers and friends; but also, they are more excited about seeing their old buddies they haven’t seen throughout the summer.

I am lucky to be both a teacher and a parent because I get to experience both ways and that has helped me to navigate both worlds with more clarity, understanding, and with sets of skills and perspectives which I am glad to share each time I get an opportunity to write.

For me, I was happy to get back to working again as a full-time teacher vis-a-vis a substitute teacher; and was more excited to get to meet the new students in a new classroom after the summer challenges that makes us all wonder if our children are getting too many stimulations/entertainments, too boring, and or summer slide-how much they will lose what they learned during school year by slipping out of learning practice during summer break!

So, now that schools are in full sessions, here are what teachers really want from parents:

Setup and Maintain Structured Environment at Home

I am a proponent of creating and maintaining a structured environment at home and following the routines. Not only can a structured home environment support and encourage learning at home, but also setting up routines and following them through minimize chaos and unwanted behavior and makes your day run smoother; it also, help build healthy and good habits. 

The problem many parents face when making your children responsible and get what you want from them without both breaking down emotionally is that many homes lack structure and routines. If parents set up a plan on how things will be done and when from early on, that helps to establish a structure. After establishing a structure, maintain consistency which is the foundation of routine. Once a routine has become familiar, the routine becomes the “boss”. Remember, being firm and consistent with the routines means being in control. Make yourself understood by your children, and children should know what you expect from them.

In many cases, young children like and love predictability and consistency, and routines help them learn expectations and feel comfortable in performing their responsibilities. Wise parents get this and they setup routines in their homes. Clear expectations and predictable activities can smooth the frictions between child and parent.

     “If you command wisely, you will be obeyed cheerfully”. ~             Thomas Fuller.

There are so many things parents can adapt to create routines at home, such as children should know what to expect when they arrive from school, on days they are out of school; the truth is, children should know what we expect from them from when they get up every morning, to when they go to bed at night! Make a daily schedule of events and hang it where is easily visible (on the kitchen refrigerator): they should know snack time, homework time, game time; when to take a bath, dinner time, when to take the trash out; and when the dog needs to be fed, bathed, or be taken for a walk. Assigning tasks to help children be responsible and learn self-discipline-it my duty to do 1,2,3, etc. hence it minimizes power struggle or unwanted behavior.

     “Treat a child as though he already is the person he’s capable      of becoming” ~ Haim Ginott.

Don’t be that parent who will do everything for your child-young or big kids! Your preschooler, for example, can learn how to clean after himself/herself from the eating table to the play area; and keep the toys neatly where they belong after playtime. For the bigger kids — -making their beds, wash dishes, do laundry, vacuum the house, etc. Set the routines and standards of cleanliness/neatness at home so that they can keep it at school too!

Get a Copy of Parent Handbook

Parent handbook is your most useful resource information about your child’s school. Take few minutes to read it to familiarize yourself with the school system, procedures, and practices. You will be amazed how informative that handbook is-there you will find useful factual information that explains how your child’s school operates regarding children learning, growing, developing, and parent’s tips on how to support your child and get involved to ensure that your child is really learning and thriving in school socially, emotionally, academically, as well as physically.

Parent handbook also covers many concerns and questions parents might encounter for the whole school year. When you read it often it will guide you towards helping your child succeed in the school environment.

    Help to protect your child’s right to learn and the teacher’s       freedom to teach.

Communication with Teachers

It is imperative that parents establish communication with their child’s teachers.

     Good communication is the lubricating oil that makes all parts      of operation run smoothly and effectively.

The ability to good communication is vital to the success of any endeavor, and in schools, it’s no difference-teachers really want parents to have open, and effective communication with them. The way you build good communication between you and your child which in turn make your child feel safe and cared for is the same way teachers want parents to build good and effective communication with them in order to support their children’s learning effectively. In fact, good teachers make themselves available and accessible to parents, and the technology has made it easier than ever to quickly communicate either by phone-calls or texts or by e-mail. Parent-teacher being on the same page regarding their children’s daily life in school is not only a good thing, it is inevitable. Teachers want to encourage parents to communicate often and inform teachers about any changes in family setup, just as teachers are anxious to share concerns about your child’s learning and progress-socially, emotionally, academically and developmentally. Always feel free to talk to your child’s teacher about anything that concerns you and your child’s learning.

It is very important that the parents inform the teacher any special circumstances in a child’s life (divorce, new sibling, death in the family, etc.) so that your child can be given the special attention he/she needs at that period. In addition, it is also very important to notify your child’s teacher of any changes such as new home address, new telephone number, new work number, change of working hours, etc. Providing your child with the care and support he/she needs is the role of both parents and teachers.

     According to the American Psychological Association (APA,            2005), “What inspires a child to grow up caring about others is      the caring that the child receives”.

Be an Advocate for Your Child

Parents are the first and most effective advocates of their children’s welfare, whether it’s for healthcare, education, clean water, clean environment, etc. Truly I tell you, teachers want parents to be proactive when it comes to your child’s learning, and more so especially when you volunteer your time to visit your child’s school, classroom, and get to meet and know your child’s teachers. Keep asking Teachers, questions if you have any questions, concerns, or comments about your child’s learning-find out if your child is getting a great education that will prepare him/her for the next grade level; for success and thrive in school and beyond; is your child engaged and learning every day? And if you happen to hold a community job-a veterinarian, a doctor/dentist, a policeman, Fireman, Baker, Construction Worker, and or a Policy Maker, etc. bring your expertise to your child’s classroom. Your child, teachers, and school will love it and appreciate your time to share.

     As they say, never let it rest until the Good is Better, and        the Better is Best.

Moreover, teachers are always looking for classroom materials. What most teachers want from parents more than Starbucks coffee gift cards and mugs are the materials and supplies for their classrooms, believe me! While teachers appreciate all you do for them, I can’t tell you how much teachers like you and appreciate you most as when you give materials and supplies to their classrooms, which means you enable better teaching and learning, so both teachers and students benefit.

     Remember, advocacy is to change “what is” into “what should          be”.

Discipline Your Child

     “The children now love luxury; they have bad manners; contempt      for authority; show disrespect for elders…children are tyrants,      not the servants of their households…they contradict their          parents…and tyrannize teachers”. ~Socrates, c.390 B.C.

You see! From the time immemorial, long before the ever-changing technology and the fast-paced society, children are our biggest challenge as well as our biggest and most precious asset. Teachers want parents to discipline your children because it’s the first lesson parents can afford your children, and learning starts from home!

     Those who can discipline themselves can discipline others!

Discipline is about guiding and correcting children in a way that supports their development of self-control. Every parent and or adult who cares for young children has a responsibility to parent and discipline your child. Teachers want parents to know that discipline is a positive step to remedy a negative tendency, a step to solve inappropriate and unwanted behaviors from a child, especially exhibiting aggressive behavior against other children (bullying) and or teachers. Guide, correct, direct and redirect, and teach your child appropriate and good behaviors.

Although we must discipline wrong behavior, praising good behavior is a strong prevention! So, remember, teachers want parents to discipline your children, but they also really want parents to remind children about the school rules-to follow those simple, clear, classrooms rules and school policies/laws because many potential problems can be averted.

Teachers Four Simple Golden Rules:

     We treat each other kindly and with respect.

     We take good care of our classroom.

     We want you to be present and on time.

     We love one another.

Thank you for reading! Add comments, Like it, and Share it too! And be sure to read the next article, What Parents Really Wants from Teachers…I will be switching the tables!!!