Sunday, June 17, 2018



Every Fall over three million students graduate high school and embark on to colleges and 
universities across the nation and some around the globe as international students to start their postsecondary education. “Obtaining higher education can be an important step towards better occupational and economic outcomes. Lower levels of educational attainment are associated with higher unemployment rates (http://nces.ed.gov/programs/coe/indicator_cbc.asp) and lower earnings (http://nces.ed.gov/programs/coe/indicator_cba.asp). Although an increasing number of students have enrolled in postsecondary institutions (http://nces.ed.gov/programs/coe/indicator_cha.asp) over the last several decades, there are still differences in the characteristics of students who complete various levels of postsecondary education.” National Center for Education Blog (http://nces.ed.gov/blogs/nces/).

It is well noted that America has long championed for education, but in recent decades the signs and the evidence of the decline of education rank as a nation and the educational attainment between colleges and among groups of students in America are not only noticeable but also raises significant concerns.

Looking back in history, in the 19th Century, America was a leader in requiring young people to attend primary school and later high school. The ranks of high school graduates attending college also grew steadily but slowly.

Although no other country’s universities educated even half as large as a proportion of its young people as America, only 1 in 7 young America went to college by late 1940. After World War II there was a rapid increase in college entre. The share of high school graduates entering college grew steadily from 17% in 1950 to 39% in 1980, 55% in 2000 and 68% in 2011, making America the first nation to make the transition from elite to mass and then to universal higher education. (Derek Bok, Higher Education in America, pp 81).

The author of the book, Higher Education in America also stated that, in the past 30 years, earnings premium for completing college has tremendously increased. By 2010, the average annual income for adults holding college education degree reached $54,000 compared with $32,000 for those with only a high school diploma. In 2005, 87% of America adults agree that a college education has become an important as a high school diploma used to be, while the percentage of respondents in Public Agenda Surveys who considered a college education to be “necessary for a person to be successful in today’s work world” jumped from 31% in 2000 to 55% in 2009”. Also, the share of ninth and tenth graders are expressing their interest in going to college increased to 80%.

Despite these high educational aspirations, the author also noted that college enrollment figures and graduation rates show clearly how far young people are from fulfilling their ambitions. According to the Department of Education, of every 100 students who begin ninth grade, only 75 graduated from high school, only 51 enter college, and only 29 graduates.  (Derek Bok, Higher Education in America-pp 82).

On the other hand, the Bureau of Labor and Statistics projects that more than 60% of all new jobs created by 2018 will require at least some college education. Director of Center on Education and Workforce at Georgetown University, Professor A. Carnevale even declared that America would experience a skills shortage of three million jobs by 2018 if the number of college graduates does not grow faster.

Reports of a severe shortage of highly skilled employees have continued to appear since the recession that followed the financial crisis of 2008. For example, in 2014 according to the Roundtable’s “action plan,” the Business Roundtable projected shortages of college-educated workers even higher than those anticipated by Professor Carnevale. (Derek Bok, The Struggle to Reform Our Colleges, pp.8-9).

Also, research on college completion also exposed the large and growing income and racial gaps in the rates at which students were graduating from college. Among high school graduates academically qualified for college study, far more students from high-income families completed a bachelor’s degree within eight years than did those from low-income families. This vast and growing difference was accompanied by rising income inequality, which now is a big debate in the 21st-century economy. Why a four-year college degree should take eight years is a question that the answers may amaze you! However, this is a topic of discussion by itself!

Due to this widening trend in disparities in the education system and the workforce, President Barak Obama declared to the Congress in 2009 that America must regain its historic leadership in the educational attainment of its people. So, he stated that America should increase its 40% of existing college-educated people by raising the share of 25-34-year-olds earning a “quality” college credential to 60% by 2020. This goal, however, will not be attained if the current trend that drives low graduation rate and educational attainment is not addressed seriously and contained.

So, why despite these disturbing and alarming findings the number of students graduating colleges continues to scale down? What is the problem that hinders students’ progress whether to enter college or to earn a college degree? What drives Graduation rate and Educational Attainment gap between Colleges and among groups of Students?

When carefully looked at the forces that drive graduation rate and educational achievement among colleges and groups for students three trends stand out to be the cause that stands on the way and disrupt students from achieving their educational goals and ambitions. The three educational patterns are:
            Equity in education
            Professional Development and
Use of Technology in Education.

Many authors who have written extensively about educational achievement gaps have all pointed fingers on the education system that the problem lies not with particular group of students because of their ethnicity and or socio-economic status but instead on America’s education system that among other things have failed to address the “real-root cause” of the problem which is:

Equity in Education-Every child is capable of learning and achieving success if afforded the learning environment that supports his or her needs. Many capable students from families of limited income have been sidelined by the system and left alone in despair with limited skill and experience to earn an income to support themselves and educate themselves (if at all they are lucky enough to get a stable job). What is the financial opportunity this group has that education system can offer? As it currently is, this group of students is more likely to suffer the educational attainment and graduation gap because of their socioeconomic status-and this including other factors such as ethnic origin or gender should not be an obstacle to achieving educational potential to any aspiring academic student.

Equity in education means fairness and equal treatment of “all children” regardless of their gender, socio-economic status or ethnic background for them to achieve educational potential. It also means inclusion-thus, accessibility, and accommodation of all students. That education resources be shared and distributed according to the needs of each young student. Individualize learning in the 21st century can be a game changer for our academically aspiring students for it addresses and assures their rights for education. From K-12 schools Choice Programs for all students so that to contain the risks to equity; to upper secondary education by providing options-attractive alternatives, remove red- tapes and dead ends and prevent drop-outs due to educational malpractice!

When a higher education institution forces an aspiring academic student to drop out of college instead of supporting the student in finding means to help the student to continue with the higher learning, it is not only wrong because it denies the student his/her right to education but it purely an educational malpractice in the education systems!

The crisis of college affordability must be dealt with. Not only that some students have outstanding loan debt before they even earn a degree and get a job to pay that loan, but others they do not have access to student loans at all making them earn a college degree an unachievable dream.
College affordability crisis in 2012-2013 caught president Obamas attention, and on fall of 2013 he toured the State University of New York at Buffalo and said,

“At this time when a higher education has never been more important or more expensive, too many students are facing a choice that they should never have made: Either they say no to college…or you do what it takes to go to college, but then you run the risk that you won’t be able to pay it off because you have got so much debt. Now, that is the choice we should not accept. And, by the way, that is a choice that the previous generation did not have to accept.” (Ryan Craig, College Disrupted pp 18).

In his book, College Disrupted, the author also pointed out that many American now say higher education fails to provide students with good value and 98% America adults agree with the statement that “higher education is in crisis.” I completely agree with the author too for I am living it as I write this article, and I have many unanswered questions because I could not navigate the educations systems to get straight and honest answers.

Moreover, as the author did, I am amplifying some of those questions: What is the university’s responsibility to its students after they have accepted them to join their colleges? Do the universities have the role or the education systems for that matter can force the student to drop out of college out of their will? What is the goals and objectives of education if there is any in this situation? Where is its responsibility to America and its students? Isn’t college designed to enhance a student’s future well-being and, in turn, that of society in general? How did it get corrupted to the point where higher education is the cause, rather than the solution, to so many of our collective ills?

As a matter of respect, the education systems and the higher education institutions ought to have a higher level of responsibility to their students and the families who have toiled in raising their children to the level of qualifying them entry to college, only to be failed by the systems when getting there! The systems that were supposed to be helping and serving the all equally to attain their educational endeavor.

 Some higher education institutions could care less about students’ retention and graduation rate as they care about their bottom-line, and we should all be wary about those institutions that are for profits more than ensuring that students have the resources they need and deserve to help them learn effectively.

In the end, however, the fight for college is the fight for the rights to education that the sons or a daughters of a taxpayer that they too have the right to education. The use and the distribution of the taxpayer’s money should reach and serve each child; and perhaps for those higher institutions that are producing high numbers student dropouts, its time to investigate them thoroughly and demand accurate report on what is going on. On the other hand,  incentivizing (financial premiums) the institutions that are attracting diverse and disadvantaged students and retain them for graduation.

Also, an investment in training ensures that the education system is designed to serve all students not some, a system that motivates learning not demoralize learning. An aspiring academic student should not be forced to withdraw from college because he or she could not afford or because of his or her parents’ migration status. Minorities and migrants’ students face challenges to navigate the system even when they are American Citizens the face unique difficulties, and the educations systems need to respond and react to their needs just as they do to the other groups. Cultural bias should have no place in the education system-serve all and educate all children fairly and equally, for it is their right.!

Professional Development-Not only that professional development impact learning and teaching but also it is a tool for educational achievement. Educators must embed 21st-century knowledge and skills that demands and measures success in both the students and the educator. Educators also need to stay on top of the latest technology, and the most innovative systems and strategies for learning and teaching, for even the technology itself, is driven and controlled by human minds. For example, there are signs and evidence of discrepancies in tracking students’ progress-early tracking and streaming need to be justified regarding proven benefits, thus, tracking at later stage vs. early stage to prevent inequities and improve outcome. Doing so needs professional skills and knowledgeable personnel. If educators do not have the 21st-century knowledge base and skills they need, how could they teach the 21st-century skills?

Fewer resources for educators is a recipe for failure. Critical thinking and problem solving, communication and collaboration; classroom leadership and management and interdisciplinary instructions are the knowledge and skills that every educator need to know and possess; for it will pave the way in straighten and strengthen the links between schools and families in helping the most disadvantaged parents and their children in their learning journey. Such knowledge also helps educators to respond more professionally or effectively to diversity and provide successful inclusion of migrants and minorities students in the education system.

Socio-cultural competence is a learned skill. Teaching standards and teachers quality (knowledge/skills) help students learning and produce high performance. Teaching strategies, reaching out strategy and students retentions lead to schools and students’ success. The student learns more from competent teachers. Schools should have the resources to keep great teachers on the job by providing them with the training they need and the flexibility to teach with technology, creativity, and motivation.

“Providing all children in America with the opportunity for world-class education is critical for their success, and the success of our nation and every child deserve a great teacher.” ~ (U.S. Department of Education, www.ed.org/teacherprep).

Better use of Technology in Education-Technology and its innovative systems within education industry is increasingly becoming a cornerstone in addressing all kinds of students’ learning and outcomes, as it is for educators in teaching in all levels of education from elementary schools to colleges. However, technology by itself is designed and controlled by the people-human mind and therefore likely to be susceptible to some discrepancies in tracking student’s progress and addressing the needs of those students accordingly and or on a timely manner. Technology should be used to reveal many things about students’ performances: from academic records to attendance records. However, if the tracking and the data entry is incorrect, and the end-results are what determines the students’ performance status, this also may not address and or reflect the accurate records of students’ performances hence deprive the students, among other things resources for the students with the most significant needs.

We all want technology to accurately assist in identifying and setting targets for more equity so that we can track schools/colleges with low graduating rate and educational attainment to address the drop-outs before it happens. Human power (knowledgeable and skilled) and technology will eventually be the only source and force that will eliminate the continuing growth of educational achievement gaps in schools and among students’ groups. The education systems need to provide a strong education for all because the 21st-century economy demands their knowledge and skills. Moreover, through technology, schools, and teachers’ roles are shifting from owners of information to the facilitators and guides to learning and achievement.

Equity for all students is undeniably essential opportunity that all students should have access and benefit. Giving all students a chance to thrive regardless of their socio-economic status and race identity is imperative and inevitable if the mission to promote student achievement and prepare them for global competitiveness is to be achieved. As it is now, more often, minority students (Blacks and Hispanics) are the disadvantaged groups and therefore susceptible to discrimination that leads to the inability to graduate in high school and may not be ready for college or paid jobs.

Consequently, those who persisted and graduate either high school (even with high achievement score) still face obstacles and discrimination to stay in college as they are more likely to be denied student loans that will keep them in college, of which is due to inability to ensure equal access to educational equity.

It is perceived that education plays a crucial role in determining how you spend your adult life-a higher level of education means higher earnings, better health, and longer life. However, for most people, this is still a myth, not a fact until we can be fair and equal in the treatment of one another in all areas of our lives, education for all leading the way!

Therefore, to develop a healthy society, we must first build and improve the learning capacity of young children as the next generation of smart and intelligent people who are fully aware of their place in the society and the environment they live. Moreover, also, how best they can manage and govern it to create friendlier-healthier-society that celebrate their learning efforts and achievements. Empowering young children through education is a no-brainer priority, for empowering our youth through education is giving them a key to unlock many doors of opportunities. Former President of South Africa and the most influential political activist and global icon of our time, Mr. Nelson Mandela, said:

 “Education is the most powerful weapon we can use to change the world.”

 Through education, you can eliminate gender inequality, decrease poverty, and increase prosperity.  It is through providing education to all children that a child of a farmer can learn and become a doctor, a girl from the rural area can have a chance to become UN Ambassador or a CEO of a multilateral company, or a boy from a single-parent family can rise to become a president of a country.

References:

Books:

·      Bok, Derek. Higher Education in America. Princeton University Press, New Jersey, 2013.

·       Bok, Derek. The Struggle to Reform Our College, Princeton University Press. New Jersey, 2017.

·      Craig, Ryan. College Disrupted: The Great Unbundling of Higher Education. Palgrave McMillan, United State, 2015.

Online:

·       “NCES-National Center for Education Statistics Blog.” (http://nces.ed.gov/blogs/nces/)

·       “OECD  2008 Observer-Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development Policy Brief”.

·       “America Institutes for Research Center”- How Career and Technical Education Can Help Students Be College and Career Ready: A Primer (https://ccrscenter.org/products-resources/how-career-and-technical-education-can-help-students-be-college-and-career-ready)





Sunday, April 22, 2018

How Teaching Family Golden Rules Can Be a Game Changer!
More often, young children lack the verbal or social skills to do many things or make their wishes known. As a result, frustrations or refusal of cooperation comes and mounts quickly. And this may be vented as aggression, anger, and other forms of antisocial behaviors-withdraw, hence violence. In learning and teaching the right way to respond and react to the different situation, favorable and unfavorable both adults and children need to consider consequences. Adults leading the way, let the children know the effects of their actions in a constructive manner, calm, and strategically for a win-win-results-e.g. Alex, your room must be clean and neat before I take you to play the games with your friends. Also, let the children know in advance what might happen from their actions. In doing so can help children sort out or think a bit about the effect of their actions on others or things. Always make sure that your discipline rules are in line with your child’s age and development stage. The teaching that works at one scene may not work at another or with every child.

Real education starts from toddlerhood to adulthood. And both parents and children need the discipline to attain the desired goal.

The teaching we commonly find appealing and working-the golden family rules if you may include:
·        Always be genuine and honest with each other and with your children.
·        Have an open and real/effective communication.
·       Help one another to grow and learn-be supportive of one another.
·       Always be content and thankful for life and thrive for best.
·       Always be respectful, kind, and loving to each other-to both parents and children.
·       Help and comfort one another.
·       Always keep your promises especially with the young children for it create trustworthiness.
·        Look after each other and console one another.
·       Treat one another other like you treat yourself or friends. 
·        Forgive and forget, though hard, it’s a noble thing to do, and worth learning discipline.
·        Love one another deeply from the heart.

As you teach your children, you engage yourselves in learning about not only what works but also what doesn’t work for both of you. Your engagement and or lack of involvement in imparting knowledge to your children may have a profound influence on whether your child turns out to be a delight or a terror. The way you respond and react to the young children's behavior shapes their future actions in unimaginable ways.

Now the question becomes, how do you teach good manners or strong morals to young children who are not yet rational, matured, and whose understanding of the concept such as manners, morals, and empathy is not part of their upbringing, or not in their horizon?

Responsible and prepared parents know that early intervention is pivotal, inevitable and is the best way to start teaching young children ways to relate and interact with one another healthfully. They also know that it needs a lot of patience and practice to follow some simple rules of discipline before your tyrannical preschooler becomes a pleasant tween; and before the discipline rules become a common practice and more adaptive way of living as your child grows to an adult.

Undeniably, young children need sets of disciplinary rules throughout their life. So, teach your children in a right way and train them onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not depart from it. Remember, "Moral excellence comes as a result of habits; we become just by doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts." ~ Aristotle


Here is how to enforce the golden rules for young children to build in manners and maximize discipline:

·       Actively Reinforce Good Behavior-always accentuate the positive. Don’t run short in acknowledging and praising good behaviors even when it is expected of them. It is familiar and comfortable to see and react to our children's misbehaviors, forever intervening and correcting whenever things go wrong, than we can acknowledge the things they do right. Gentle acknowledgment of any accomplishment and reminders can minimize or stop unwanted behaviors.

·       Prevent Problems Before It Happens-creates a safe environment for your young child and is one way to prevent some unwanted behaviors; from how your home is set up, the company you keep, to the places you like to go for fun or interact with others. Avoiding situations that will cause trouble is a no-brainer: trying to please a child by giving in every time a child makes the demand is cultivating unwanted behavior which may lead to entitlement and more of undesirable behaviors such as defiance, unruly, or rebellious. Offering helpful reminders before things go high way is crucial and may prevent mistakes before they happen! For example, during meal time if you spill food, you must clean the mess; after finish eating, you must clean after the table; or after every bath, the rule is you wash the tab or make your bed soon as you wake up! These are simple things to do yet many children are leaving them to their parents do them for them! Let your child learn how to be responsible for their actions-clean after their messes and discover more ways to be helpful at home, in schools, and in the community at large.


·       Set Limits-all young children need clear, consistent limits setting to define the boundaries of acceptable and unacceptable behaviors. No matter how young the child may be placing and enforcing limits is necessary and should start from a very young year of age. If you don't like or approve your child's behavior now even if your child is two or too cute to discipline, you won't want it after a few dozen times either! They say, "Samaki mkunje angali mbichi, akishakauka hakunjiki," Swahili proverb.

Young children test our wisdom and reactions to try to figure out what he or she can get away with. It is the parent's job to tell your child what is okay and what is not okay.

The idea that your child is too young, he/she is just a kid, or he/she is incapable of understanding your teachings, is falling short in your parenting skills!  Young children, even toddlers are smart than most parents may think they are. With parents help and patience, young children can learn the difference between right and wrong and think about their actions and the consequences.

·       Be Firm-lack of firmness tend to backfire or send a message to a child that his or her demand must be accepted; "No should mean No." Your child may ask, request, nag, or whine about something, over and over! You know the "Please, Please, Please"! And you comply with your child even though you know you shouldn't. Your child will make the same demand every time and turn it around and cause a conflict between two of you because you give in once or all the times. The child will demand why not now?

·       Certainly, leniency has its place in parenting, but over time a lack of firmness/toughness tends to be unproductive. If you fail to be firm and enforce stability and limit, you deprive your child the ability to learn and the understanding of how you expect your child to behave. Often when you are too lenient, your child will also tend to take advantage of you!  Over time, as your child test your limit, soon will discover which button to push to get the response that he or she desires instead of vice versa, and you can be sure that your child will push the button again and again.

Always make it clear that you are in charge, and not your child. You can be as friendly with your child as it can be but remember you are a parent first.

·       Be Clear, and Realistic-always keep your expectations about your child’s behavior clear and realistic. Otherwise, you set yourself up for the unfavorable outcome. The younger your child, the less patience and short spam of concentration or keep steady and follow through. Teach and discipline according to the level of your child’s age and developmental stage. Don’t get deterred that it is not working. Try all the tricks you know about including professional help! Some children may need extra help than you can offer them, it’s okay to seek that help.


·       Be Consistency-Once you make the rules enforce them. Inconsistency confuses a learning child.  Don’t say “yes” today to play in the rain and say “no” tomorrow when your child wants to play in the rain! If you give a signal that we will be leaving the playground after two more rounds of slides or swings, you must do so. Don’t wait for them to make three, four or more rounds; the next time you are ready to leave after “two more rounds” you may not be taken seriously.

You may not be 100% consistent in all things and all the time, but whenever there are variations in decisions offer clear explanations why you allow things done differently than usually done. Any changes and adjustment you made that is out of the norm or not the way your children used to, you owe them an explanation to avoid misunderstanding, confusion, or mixed message.

·       Be Brief- often, most young children benefit most from short, precise, to-the-point messages. The younger your child, the better it is to use few words as possible-"we don't do that, "teasing hurts" "lying is wrong."  Also, it may be the best way to get your message across to a young child using “I-Messages."! "I don't like it if I have to clean after your mess! I want you to collect your clothes, books off the floor and put them where they belong", " I see that you have not made your bed since yesterday.”

·       Be Role Model- set a good example. Children are our carbon copy – they copy what adult say and do! If you say one thing and do the opposite, you are not setting a good example. If you teach young children hitting is terrible, you should not be the one to use spanking as a discipline measure.

·       Divert and Distract-monitor moods and remember every child is a different-unique individual, and one size fits all does not apply to young children. There are so many ways to teach discipline and to react to young children behavior problems.  These ways are implemented according to each child's age, developmental level, and relationships, they have forged with their parents or guardians.

Some young children respond well to signals, warnings, and reminders, yet others may need more restrain limits-if you give in once, they will take advantage of it later. Avoid power struggle when divert, distract or stopping unwanted behavior. As you discipline your young children, remember that you are not just helping them learn how to behave; you also teaching them what to expect from their world, and what it expects from them in return.

·       Stay Calm-being extra patience in today’s fast-paced world may seem impossible or underestimating the reality, however with young children its must. Though easy to say than to do, when discipline your children, if you deliver and maintain the discipline message in calm, and rational manner chances, are you will earn your child’s cooperation. Control your temper and anger it’s all about being staying calm and being extra patience because if not it may send a negative response or impact on your child's learning and growth. It can be challenging but raising your voice firm is a natural reaction but yelling, screaming, shouting degrades a child may make you a poor role model.

Like adults, young children like to be respected and treated with dignity. On the other hand, sounding too mild or uncertain may dilute your message.  To avoid sending a weak signal, for example, "Do you want to go to sleep now? Instead of, "It's time to go to bed now"! Or, "Do you want to brush your teeth now? Instead of " it's time to brush teeth now"!

The study shows that the more parents or adults of young children encourage and enforce appropriate behaviors through positive discipline and child guidance strategies, the less time and effort parents and or adults will spend correcting your children's unwanted behavior. In fact, it reduces the undesirable reactions, and the children are proven to be having more self-control, self-discipline, and self-reliance (independent) as they learn problem-solving and refrain from getting into trouble. They tend to follow the rules and directions better.

Contrary to this, if parents or adults of young children use physical force, punishments, threats, and or verbal abuse-repeatedly put-down your children each time he/she does something unpleasing to you or misbehaves, this can interfere with the child's healthy development and learning. For example, physical abuse of any sort, spanking, or corporal punishment, can have some adverse effects on children. Actions that insult or belittle children are not only harmful to children because it can inhibit learning and can teach them to be unkind and aggressive towards others; but also, are likely to cause children to view their parents or adults in their lives negatively, and hinder building a good relationship with their parents.

 It is also true with the parents who withdraw from parenting their children either by carelessness and selfishness characteristics, intentionally cut-off communication and unwillingness to bond with your children. These can have a lasting adverse effect on your upbringing and relationships building because they may view you as uncaring parents and prevent having a good relationship with one another. Parent(s) who distance themselves from building a desirable relationship with their children are dodging their parental responsibility. By either distancing from communicating or from wanting to know their children where about. Such selfishness acts towards children will make them believe that such parent(s) doesn't care about them and they too have little or no feelings about these parent(s) because they hardly have a positive experience to say about them.

Nevertheless, there is no one perfect set of rules, formulas, or strategies that answer all questions about discipline or work all the times fruitfully. Just as it is true that all children are unique, and so as the families in which they come from. Thus, each child and family may respond differently towards any disciplinary strategies. One discipline strategy that might work with one child may not work with another even within the same family; still, disciplining ourselves is an endless process.

Moreover, to discipline young children is an inevitable process-it’s part of parenting your child in a right direction.  Parents' who are vigilant in acknowledging their children's efforts and progress, no matter how slow or small, when following the rules and or exhibiting self-disciplines are likely to encourage discipline as a learning and healthy development process. And whether you are a mother or a father rules setting for guidance and disciplining your children is your moral and ethical responsibility.



Tuesday, April 3, 2018

Why Adults Should be Authentic To Children and Why Authenticity Matters!



We all in one way or the other find ourselves in places which otherwise we wished not to be, for you may get lost or lose part of self-who you truly are or meant to be! But it’s okay because it’s still you and your life! If you can be you and be yourself, perhaps it’s the very best way to be authentic as a person!

When it comes to being authentic as an adult, you try your best to teach and model how you want your children to respect you, relate to you, and to others-we teach children to tell the truth. To be honest and respectful. In doing so, we create harmonious relationships based on honesty, truthfulness, and trust.

And so, think about the statement, adults should be authentic to children, and consider what does it mean, and why authenticity matters!

Being authentic as adults means being trustworthy and genuine especially to children. To show a true color of who you are when interacting with both children and other adults so that young children too can learn to tell the truth and to be trustworthy and genuine in what they do and say, hence build mutual understanding, respect, and better relationships.

The world we live in today is so complex that it demands adults to be more sensitive in the way you interact and respond to young children.

Unlike any other time, today’s society poses many challenges to both adults and young children as such we have lost patience and wisdom in the way we interact with one another. The current wave of unfounded and untrustworthy news, fake news, and lies have brought divisions in the society and among ourselves-it is creating dishonest and untruthfulness which leads to confusion, anger, and chaos among the people.

Lack of authenticity whether it’s in the public arena, in the workplace, or in the homes create suspicion, confusion, confrontation, and anger. When children are witnessing adults doing things and saying things that are not genuine and untrustworthy, it’s a recipe for disaster for the future society. How can an adult tell a child not to lie when the adult lies in front of the children? How can you tell a child to stop yelling and use soft tune/polite words, when children witness adults yelling and use derogatory language against fellow adults and/or even on younger children?

We know why preschoolers’ lie because children of this age group lying is a normal part of development, and they don’t lie all the time! Also, children in this age group don’t yet understand to a large extent that lying is being dishonest and its wrong! For them making up stories that are not true, or boldly exaggerating things is normal since they have not quite learned what is fantasy and what is a reality! If a preschooler said he can fly his car to the moon, the adults understand! And may suggest, you wish you were an astronaut, don’t you?

Needless, to say, is the child’s lie the same as an adult’s lie? And if a lie is a lie, does the age of the liar be in question?

As an educator and a parent, I know how frustrating it is to confront or address the lying behavior. Lying behavior is a behavior that makes most adults go nuts, and when children lie, they are sure to be disciplined. An adult can do a lot to discipline a lying child-teach more honest behavior, model truthfulness, set specific rules and consequences for lying, etc.

Now on the flip side, what can be done when adults lie?

What is currently trending is that what is true is a lie or fake; and what is fake, or lie is turned into being the truth (fake-truth or disruptive lies)! What some crocked and deceptive minds at its core when adults lie intentionally and knowingly? What teachings and/or impact this have on the young and growing minds of our children?

Adults especially those in power lie just to sell an idea, to defend an ideology, to steal people’s willpower; and or to cause disruption to the civilized minds so that they can push unpopular agenda or steal votes to win! But they too are responsible for setting good examples on how to persuade people without disruptive lies.

Saying shame to the proponents of fake news is not enough because such people when they cease to be creative, they invent disruptive lies. When they lose persuasive power, they threaten with disruptive lies. ENOUGH with disruptive lies!

When you know adults are telling disruptive lies, especially those in the leadership positions it is imperatively smart to counteract their lies because their disruptive lies affect the large population-it distort the value of morality in the society and our children’s moral upbringing. Persistent disruptive lies create enormous problems in the society and among the people. Some of the problems include fuel anger, cause suspicion, confrontation, and chaos, but above all, it creates division.

Time after time, we have witnessed anger unfolding and displayed in public, confrontation among media on perspectives can get heated and overwhelmed-each side trying to win a point against the other and individual groups divided and confronting one another with anger and aggression.

Most recently, we witnessed poor and at times, irresponsible responses from adults against children who were protesting for rigorous guns control measures during the March for Our Live rallies and afterward! Some adults still cannot contain themselves to have a civil debate and or constructive conversation on way forward in confronting the gun violence problem amicably.

The civil debate and the constructive conversation for the common good of humanity and the public health is eroding in our today’s society. Adults lying is the new normal but the biggest problem that causing such erosion in our society today! And where adults couldn’t lie, bullying and invasion of personal privacy with the intent to cause fear, to harass, and/or to silence takes its place!!!
 
To be authentic in today’s world is as hard as asking a frog to show its tail! However, it doesn’t have to be that way if you become aware of what to do when things are ought to be done for the common good and public health; just as the youth of Parkland, Florida and other places decided to lead the way toward finding sensible gun control measures. They organized the largest crowd of peaceful protesters in the US history after too many schools’ shootings which killed many students and adults as well; and demanded a change of the current gun control status quo!

The Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School Youth-led March for Our Lives Movement was a reaction against adults in public leadership positions for failing to stand firmly to address seriously measures to curb gun violence in schools. Because adults have been playing politics and disruptive lies about the real problems of gun violence in schools and in the community, these young children raised and declared ENOUGH, and # NEVER AGAIN! Their safety while in schools is now a priority!

When children start doubting what adults are telling them they will revolt! When adults won’t do what they should to do or say, clashes between adults and children arise! And when adults and children clash, what is the adults do?

If adults cease to model honesty and truthfulness for a notable period, children take note and soon chances of clashing ideas and competing for power struggle becomes inevitable and the positive interactions and responses become difficult and counterproductive.

John Mason Brown once said, “Reasoning with a child is fine if you can reach the child’s reason without destroying your own.”

Subsequently, adults are ultimate role models for children. Every word, movement, and action have an effect-if you can listen more, respect more and understand one another more, you will prevent and solve more problems that divide us.






Friday, March 30, 2018

Resilience-Roar Like the Lions of Serengeti-Tough Times Doesn’t Last, Tough People, Do!



Resilience is defined as the ability to recover from the setbacks, adapt well to change and keep going in the face of adversity. With the ongoing debate on guns safety that our children are involved in, teaching them resilience is the best tool adults who support and care about the current students’ movement on guns control can offer.

After witnessing countless schools shootings that killed many students as well as adults, while wounded many more, yet there was nothing the parents of the killed students or the injured students could say or do to sway the NRA and the gun manufacturers that the gun business is not only killing people and the most vulnerable of all children in their learning places, but also guns are the source of violence in the society! The time has come to face the truth and deal with this chronic gun violence once and for all!

The ENOUGH and NEVER AGAIN Gun-Control Movement was born and kicked-off on March 24th, 2018 as for March Four Our Lives advocacy which was joined by the millions of people, young and adults around the world. Led by the students from Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland Florida, where the last school gun shooting took place and killed seventeen and wounded fourteen more, making it one of the worse school massacre in recent memory.

To keep the Gun-Control Movement going strong, responsible adults must become the instrument of inspiration, not a tool to demean, hurt, or humiliate! And always, in all situations, adults should remember that it is their responses that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated, and a child will be humanized or dehumanized!

The flames that the student have given light in addressing the evils guns can do to humanity must not be extinguished unless safety becomes a new normal in our society! It is imperative that we embrace the culture of a peaceful society and despise the culture of violence-whether its gun violence, racial tension and all other forms of discrimination.

It is immoral for an adult to choose to disrupt, mock, or bully children who have made sacrifices (emotionally and physically) and are doing an extraordinary job to get out there in public with the intention to make the world a better place to live for tomorrow than they find it today!

What our children need right now is uplifting positive support and attitudes that build good relationships, mutual understanding, and eventually solves big problems amicably and for the benefits of all. No law should favor few at the expenses of many.

Neither do I believe that when the Founding Fathers wrote the Second Amendment over two hundred years ago had a vision on how the 21st century society will look like, nor do I believe that Second Amendment gives right to guns to the people who otherwise should not get the guns because they cannot differentiate between the good and the bad. It is insane to claim that the Second Amendment grants all people the right to own guns, since not all people are equally responsible and or capable to own and/ or carry a weapon that can kill many people. It is illogical not to toughen the loopholes or the safety gun laws because of the Second Amendment. To safeguard the killings from guns we must safeguard the laws pertaining gun safety!

Now that our children have paved the way and are leading the Gun-Control Movement, resilience will be their friend and confidant. Building resilience is an important part of growth and change. Steve Goodier once said, “My scars remind me that I did indeed survive my deepest wounds. That in itself is an accomplishment. And they bring to mind something else, too. They remind me that the damage life has inflicted on me has, in many places, left me stronger and more resilient. What hurt me in the past has actually made me better equipped to face the present.”

Since you (Children) have decided to embark on this journey of advocacy, as you already have seen, some will offer you moral support, others their time and money, yet few will be a negative force with the intent to pull you down and to fail you! Fight the good fight and don’t let the people define you-if they do, hit back smartly, passionately, but aggressively.

“The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new”, said Socrates.

Apply the collaborative learning and the project-based learning approaches in your movement as a way to build new avenues which will strengthen your message and broaden your movement and build on inevitable and unshakable capabilities.

Change is hard, but we must be open and willing to embrace change! Time will come when beliefs and ideology won’t make sense or save the humanity at large. Think about it! Two hundred plus years ago things weren’t as they are today! Societies have been going through various and major transformations that enabled people to live better lives and/or simplify their way of life. And as people, building a 21st Century society, requires a 21st Century laws, principles, values, and whatever else-technology and infinity leadership.

George Bernard Shaw asserted that “progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds, cannot change anything.”


Therefore, change is your destiny, go chase it; and when you do, roar like the lions of Serengeti!!!